Gamefly Avatar

This is what we text about on a daily basis.

Gemini: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/109436-GameFly-Triumphs-Against-U-S-Postal-Service

Gemini: Its like you're that guy from avatar. You go to the post office during the day but at night you're a gamefly soldier Trying to blow up the USPS tree of life

Phoenix: But deep down you love the mail. So you try to stop gamefly.

Gemini: Then you have a fight with the gamefly CEO. He's in a mech and you just have whittled down trays. You had to capture your mailtruck at one point by puttkg your hair on it

Phoenix: I blind him with stamps and I have a truck made of flat rate boxes!

Gemini: But you can't breathe the toxic mail air! Then you fall in love with the handsome mailman that taught you how to sort gamefly envelopes. You lost your legs in a freak mail sorting accident Or no! A freak gamefly envelope test gone wrong!

Phoenix: They were too sharp.

Gemini: You learned that the hard way The cardboard pieces flew out at you. In slow.motion they slice into your kneecaps. Your arms are like tree trunks!

Gamefly Avatar

#Gears3Beta Access

Nope, we don't have Gears 3 beta access. We do have a funny podcast, though! Check it out!

#Gears3Beta Access

Try Not To Fart (XBLIG)

I discovered an independent game this week called Try Not To Fart. Naturally, I had to capture some video of this comedic gem.

The premise of the game revolves around people in public trying not to fart in certain social situations. The first one has you in a club trying to pick up a girl. The second one is you at lunch in a restaurant.

I didn't spend the 80 points to buy the game. I'm not sure what other scenarios you go through since I didn't go past the second one, but if it includes one where you're in mid-coitus and trying not to fart, I might reconsider spending the $1.

Try Not To Fart (XBLIG)

The Best of The Uncanny Gamers Vol 1

If you've never listened to The Uncanny Gamers for fear you've missed too many episodes and you'll have no idea what's going on, your time has come. This episode marks the first volume of the best of The Uncanny Gamers. Twentysomething shows in, we've culled the funniest and most interesting bits and assembled them into one behemoth of a show. If you don't laugh at least eight times while you listen to this show your funny bone is either broken or nonexistent. Or your soul has been devoured by Lucifer himself. Or you have the volume turned way down. Whatever the case may be, laughs are guaranteed. And by laughs we mean slight chuckles. And by guaranteed we mean our fingers are crossed that you like it.

Laugh your ass off here and subscribe your ass off over there!

The Best of The Uncanny Gamers Vol 1

12 Steps To Overcome L4D Addiction

According to the Center for On-Line Addiction, warning signs for L4D addiction include:

• *Playing for increasing amounts of time (without sex)
• *Thinking about gaming during other activities (including sex)
• *Gaming to escape from real-life problems, anxiety, depression, (and sex)
• *Lying to friends and family to conceal gaming (during sex)
• *Feeling irritable when trying to cut down on gaming (and sex)
• 
  

Physical signs of L4D addiction include:

• *Carpal tunnel syndrome (from masturbating)
• *Sleep disturbances (not sex)
• *Back, neck aches
• *Headaches (due to lack of sex)
• *Dry eyes
• *Failure to eat regularly or neglect personal hygiene

This 12 step program will help you overcome your L4D addiction and set you on the path to new and different games.

1. HONESTY: Admit that you, or your character (unless it's Coach), are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable as a result of Valve software.

2. HOPE: Come to believe that the power greater than ourselves or a bottle of pills can restore you to health. Zoe is not coming to revive you, either.

3. TRUST: Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of your higher power and succumb to the witch for one last time.

4. TRUTH: Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself and your game library. How many remain unopened? How many remain neglected?

5. INTEGRITY: Admit to yourself, to a higher power, and another human being the exact nature of your wrongs. This can be via Facebook or Twitter.

6. CHANGE OF HEART: Become entirely ready to have a higher power remove all your characters and game saves. Deletion is the only answer.

7. HUMILITY: Humbly ask a higher power to remove your disc from your console.

8. BROTHERLY LOVE: Make a written list of all gamertags you have harmed with friendly fire and become willing to make restitution to them.

9. RESTITUTION AND RECONCILIATION: Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all gamers you have harmed via Microsoft Points, except when to do so would injure them or others addicted to the game.

10. ACCOUNTABILITY: Continue to take personal inventory of the DLC you've bought and never played, and when you are wrong promptly play it.

11. PERSEVERANCE: Ignore (and continue to ignore) your L4D friends list. Earnestly seek to understand your higher power, no matter who may be on Xbox Live any given day. Continue to give yourself credit for earnest effort, however imperfect or weepy.

12. SERVICE AND SPIRITUALITY: Having had a spiritual video game awakening as a result of these steps, share this message with others who excessively play L4D as a replacement for human touch and practice these principles in all you do.

12 Steps To Overcome L4D Addiction

Unsung Heroes - The Boob Modeler

The other day I was thinking about the guy that gets to model the boobs in major video game releases. You know, the guy that works with Tomonobu Itagaki for months on end trying to get the jiggle in Kasumi's blouse just right. The guy that spends 60 hours a week on one boob in Soul Calibur. I was thinking, is this guy happy?

You can imagine that getting that job is either a gift or a curse. I can see the guys around the office drawing straws to determine who gets to work on titty physics for the next three years. I just wonder if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I suppose that what you're rooting for (short or long straw) entirely depends on your love of the boob. Of course, it's possible to be a boob lover, but not want that job at all.

I'm talking about the gynecologist problem. Why else do guys go into gynecology except to see lady bits all day? It's got to be a pretty exciting time, getting into medical school, graduating, and then opening up a practice. Then, after a week and 30 or so very hairy appointments, the realization has to set in that this is what you're going to be doing for a very long time.

This has to be what the boob guy goes through. The first couple months are great. Researching nipples on the internet. Buying Juggs magazine and being able to write it off. Watching Baywatch. Then, just like when you say a word over and over, the boob loses it's meaning. It's just another pixelated blob.

I feel for this guy. If there's an unsung hero in the gaming industry, it's him. He presses his face between those cold, computerized mammaries and motorboats the hell out of them, just so we can enjoy Dead or Alive Paradise the way it was meant to be enjoyed.

With one hand.

Unsung Heroes - The Boob Modeler

Guitar Hero Led Zeppelin Announced!

GH:LZ comes with 16 songs on the disc, and full album DLC on day one. Each album will be $20. Stairway to Heaven will be its own download and cost $7 by itself. Money from the sales of Stairway will go directly to Activision.

GH:LZ drops this holiday season. The Special Edition will cost $299 and include a code to download Stairway for free.

Guitar Hero Led Zeppelin Announced!